It Figures

Tonight, despite my persistant warnings about MSG and the high salt content of soy sauce leading to high blood pressure and possible heart attack or stroke, my cousin Roxy wanted to try out the new Chinese restaurant in town.

Roxy and her friends all had Pecking Duck. But it looked and tasted too much like cat to me. So I stuck with something safe: boiled water with mushroom.

But then I thought: wait a minute, Debbie.. where exactly did that mushroom come from?? Maybe someone snuck a poison mushroom from their lawn and it made it's way into my soup!! After all, you can't tell the difference! I warned Roxy and her friends about this potentially deadly possibility but, as usual, they didnt listen. :(

So I hailed the waiter down and nicely explained to him that I am worried about poison garden mushrooms being snuck into the food supply. I asked him to please exchange my order for a simple cup of hot water with boullion cube. But I told him not to make it so hot that I could burn myself and I reminded him about the lady at McDonalds sueing for injuries caused by boiling water being spilled on her lap. The waiter didnt seem to know what I was talking about. So I just said "never mind. Just bring me tepid water with a boullion cube".

For dessert, we all had fortune cookies. Everyone had such neat fortunes.

But mine?

Blank. :/

It's Official.. I'm going to die.