Know Your Banana
Sorry I havent posted in awhile. I've been busier than a devil recruiting for hell.
I've also been feeling a bit down. :-/
I suspect it's the time of year. Late spring into summer. Full Blown Allergy Season! The flowers are in bloom, wreaking havoc on my nasal passages! The rugrats are let out of school and terrorizing the neighborhood (and my sanity) with their screaming and laughing and rambunctious play.
I hate this time of year.
Anyway, I am looking into natural forms of therapy to relieve my symptoms of depression. I had heard wonderful things about bananas, and how bananas can raise your level of seratonin.. the hormone that increases your sense of well being. So I immediately, and with great excitement, ran out to the grocery store to aquire a bunch and start my "feel-good-banana diet".
As customary with me, I googled "bananas" "danger", just to see what comes up. Well, get a gander at THIS: (!!!)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,875612,00.html
Here is an excerpt:
"It is a freakish, doped-up, mutant clone which hasn't had sex for thousands of years - and the strain may be about to tell on the nation's fruitbowl favourite. Scientists based in France have warned that, without radical and swift action, in 10 years' time we really could have no bananas.
Two fungal diseases, Panama disease and black Sigatoka, are cutting a swath through banana plantations, just as blight once devastated potato crops. But unlike the potato, and other crops where disease-resistant strains can be bred by conventional means, making a fungus-free variety of the banana is extraordinarily difficult".
Well, isnt that wonderful? Not only are my potassium and seratonin levels in serious jeopardy, but I have already had 2 of these fungus-riddled mutant fruits!!
In addition, that's all I need.. consuming something that, like me, hasn't had sex in years. :-/
Tomorrow I will be returning these to the grocer and demand my money back!!
(L.L)
I've also been feeling a bit down. :-/
I suspect it's the time of year. Late spring into summer. Full Blown Allergy Season! The flowers are in bloom, wreaking havoc on my nasal passages! The rugrats are let out of school and terrorizing the neighborhood (and my sanity) with their screaming and laughing and rambunctious play.
I hate this time of year.
Anyway, I am looking into natural forms of therapy to relieve my symptoms of depression. I had heard wonderful things about bananas, and how bananas can raise your level of seratonin.. the hormone that increases your sense of well being. So I immediately, and with great excitement, ran out to the grocery store to aquire a bunch and start my "feel-good-banana diet".
As customary with me, I googled "bananas" "danger", just to see what comes up. Well, get a gander at THIS: (!!!)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,875612,00.html
Here is an excerpt:
"It is a freakish, doped-up, mutant clone which hasn't had sex for thousands of years - and the strain may be about to tell on the nation's fruitbowl favourite. Scientists based in France have warned that, without radical and swift action, in 10 years' time we really could have no bananas.
Two fungal diseases, Panama disease and black Sigatoka, are cutting a swath through banana plantations, just as blight once devastated potato crops. But unlike the potato, and other crops where disease-resistant strains can be bred by conventional means, making a fungus-free variety of the banana is extraordinarily difficult".
Well, isnt that wonderful? Not only are my potassium and seratonin levels in serious jeopardy, but I have already had 2 of these fungus-riddled mutant fruits!!
In addition, that's all I need.. consuming something that, like me, hasn't had sex in years. :-/
Tomorrow I will be returning these to the grocer and demand my money back!!
(L.L)
posted by Debbie Downer at 8:06 PM
10 Comments:
debbie, have my babies!
www.xanga.com/eewwnuk
I can't have children!
My own take on bananas is that they are overrated. Remember that in Gilligan's Island all the castaways ate were bananas and coconuts? Apparently if one really subsists on just those two tropical fruits for a few months, one's intestines actually get permanently distended. Eventually you would start to (pardon my French) crap out your own intestines. Also, my favorite band, Deep Purple, called their last album Bananas, and it's their weakest musically in ten years. Bananas are the devil's fruit.
A warning to all Deep Purple fans:
persistant exposure to loud Deep Purple music can result in temporary and eventual permament hearing loss!!
"People who live for music should be the most scrupulous about hearing conservation. Hearing loss usually creeps up, starting with that temporary numbness after loud exposures, and then becoming permanent with repetition. Anyone who has repeated temporary hearing loss should know that permanent hearing loss WILL occur. Hearing loss from overexposure to loud noise is not a possibility or a probability; it is a certainty. The only question is how severely and how soon it will occur".
She's not as loud as Deep Purple, but Gwen Stefani's new song "Holleback Girl" has a "Go Bananas" cheer in it. My stomach cramps just thinking about it. A health teacher once told me that bananas were a good source of Zinc and that a sign of zinc defficiency was having white flecks in your fingernails. If that's the worst that can happen from lacking zinc, I'll take white flecks over bananas.
White flecks is the least of it, my dear. Studies show that lack of zinc may lead to poor night vision and wound-healing, a decrease in sense of taste and smell, a reduced ability to fight infections, and poor development of reproductive organs.
Also can lead to impotency. :-/
Oh, god, I hate bananas! My dad has a thing about buying them, always unripe, and bugging me about eating them. He has ruined my experience of bananas.
It is possible to get too much potassium, as well.
Darn, because I just made a ton of banana bread. I guess I could feed it to some birds.
Debbie, you've been gone too long and you must tell us about this new potential man in your life, Bob Bummer. He seems like your type, but isn't it bad luck for someone else to say that.
Debbie, you've been gone too long and you must tell us about this new potential man in your life, Bob Bummer. He seems like your type, but isn't it bad luck for someone else to say that.
Yea, thanks. :-/ He was caught in a 3-way with Polly Positive and Cheerful Charlie. His therapist wanted him to expand his horizons, and expand he did.
I'm once again alone. Nothing new.
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